I wish I had started this when I was pregnant with Ava. There are so many things I want to have written down to share with her! It feels like starting at 4 Ive missed so much! I'd like to take a step back in this entry and highlight some of the details of the day I met my baby! I always knew I wanted to have a little girl. The lord knew what he was doing blessing us with this little miracle. Ava was born on December 29th weighing 8 pounds and 12 ounces at 1244 am! Thats the time someone finally looked at the clock in midst of the silence that filled the room. "Silence"??? Yes, you could here a pindrop at one point. I'll never forget those first few moments. The looks, the whispers, the silence, the "white coat" crew that rushed in within moments, the terrified look in my husbands face. I will never forget any of it. Soon after she was born when every parent waits to here that loud "im here" scream.....we didn't. Ava was born with bilateral pneumothorax's (little holes in both of her lungs. She was immediately transferred to the special care nursery. There was talk of plans to send her to CHKD to have chest tubes put into her tiny lungs. She had xrays taken on her 1st day of life. A mother spends 9 months imagining what her baby will look like, her hair, her eyes, her smile, then finally I get to see her and in an instant she's taken away from me so someone can photograph her insides!!!!! Lucky for us, Ava made a full recovery with spending her 1st days of life underneath a 100% oxygen hood. I couldn't hold her, pick her up, feed her....but it was worth it to avoid a dangerous transfer and invasive procedures. My baby came into this world a strong little fighter!

This was the 1st time we got to hold her! 2 days after she was born!!!